If the screenplay for the surfing epic "Big Wednesday" had been written in today's modern era of online surf forecasting, it would probably go something like this:

Matt: Hey guys, it's been flat for weeks. I need some waves pronto! What about Baja?!?!

Jack: Sorry, Matt, but I have lifeguard tryouts on Tuesday and I've got a date with Sally tonight!

Leroy: Count me in!!! Guns! Tequila! Banditos! Women!

Matt: I'm a drunk, Bear! Oh wait, sorry, I mean LET'S GO! I'll bring the Point Grinder. Jack, you can bring Sally. Leroy, you'll find a young Mexican virgin who you will promise to marry just before you deflower her, the whole time being comforted by the knowledge that she could never hope to make it into the United States to find you.

Jack: Now hold on, Matt. Before we get too excited, I'm going online to check Surfline.com. Remember the last time you wanted to hit the road? Good thing I checked Surfline.com first. Remember how they said it was "only 2-3 with occasional fun, glassy sets"? The 45 minutes of effort to drive up to Ventura would have been a complete waste of time.

Leroy: Yes, you're right. We might have driven all that way to be totally disappointed. And I wouldn't have had that bomb session of Transworld Surfing on my new PS2.

Jack: See Matt, I'm glad I checked. It says right here that we shouldn't hit the road spontaneously this week. The surf is no good. How about next week instead? They say its going to be a lot better. Oh, and check out this article on El Niño. And here's an interesting one on localism in Rosarita Beach. Did you know that Rosarita Beach is nicknamed "The Mexican Malibu"? I sure didn't.

Matt: OK, Jack, I guess you're right. We'll go next week if that southern swell with a projected wave angle of 232 degrees ever materializes. Saturday morning at San Miguel seems to be what Surfline.com is recommending. Leroy, how about another round of Transworld Surfing? Loser has to baste himself and then try to climb into Jack's oven.

Thankfully, "Big Wednesday" was written well before the birth of Surfline.com and amazingly enough even before 976 surf reporting technology. Otherwise, instead of The Three Friends running off to Baja, instigating a bar brawl, evading the Federales, and having their car ransacked and vandalized, we would have had what you have just read above.

As Dave once said, "What's missing is the adventure."

Never forget that.

- Ryen Phillips