Oh, hi, teens. Notch Johnson here.

You may think that as a lifeguard it's routine for me to get a raise. But it's not!

No, teens, in recent years Santa Cruz Adjacent has gotten behind other adjacent counties in both pay scale and in benefit packages.

And it looks like The Governator has dealt us yet another blow this week.

Our motto around here has always been "Over 1 Billion Saved", but that record is now in jeopardy as Santa Cruz Adjacent faces cuts to it's lifeguarding budget. And if you want to know how it feels to be cut, just ask my cousin and Tel Aviv Adjacent lifeguard, Nochus Johnstein.

Sure in the past we've raised money by dragging for pinks with Personal Water Craft, bikini car washes, and even by selling unclaimed swimsuits from the lost and found on EBay. But 1 billion dollars is a big gap to fill.

And this money is desperately needed! How else will we pay for our community outreach programs such as Beaches for Beaches, Pack Out Your Needles, and of course my own personal favorite, Surf Trunks for Jeans?

And it's not like lifeguarding has ever been a way to get rich. We do it for the love of it. For the free sunblock. And for the thongs of people.

So remember teens, paying your taxes doesn't always mean there's going to be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow OR a Johnson up in that lifeguard tower to watch over you.

Until next time, this is Notch Johnson saying…Ride the big one!