Unregulated Surf Schools and You

Oh, hi, teens. Notch Johnson here.

When I'm not busy pulling swimmers from the water with my unit, or teaching my Junior Lifeguards about the dangers of cellulite and "Man Boobs", you can usually find me doing the thing that I enjoy most.

And that's being a Surf School Instructor.

The Cowell's Reef Adjacent Boarding School - or CRABS as I like to call it - was started back in the year, The 1990s. And over the years I've been able to bring the love of surfing to thongs of people.

In fact, surf schools have become so popular that you can almost walk across the floaters in the lineup.

Recently, the Santa Cruz Adjacent City Council has started coming down hard on surf schools. The City Council now wants us to provide proof of liability insurance, reduce our class sizes, and even pay sales tax. Just like they do in communist surfing countries!

I'd like to ask every American to take a moment to remember all of the good that unregulated surf schools do for "da community".

There was the time I taught the Hernandez family that jeans, or "hhheans", are to be worn UNDER their wetsuits.

Or when I helped little Timmy with his "pop-up" by submersing him in the cold ocean water.

Unregulated surf schools are as much a part of this community as jay walkers, illegal immigrants, or even the guy that picks through your recyclable waste can on Tuesday nights.

So remember, teens, you're never too young to start surfing. And maybe someday you'll even get CRABS.

Until then, this is Notch Johnson saying...Ride the big one!


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