Oh, hi, teens. Notch Johnson here.

During this recent High Surf Advisory my unit has been busier than the Santa Cruz Adjacent INS office on Amnesty Fridays!

We've been plucking surfers and swimmers from the water all week, and boy, I sure am tired.

When this is all over I can't wait to curl up in front of the TV with my Season 2 DVD of Son of the Beach. It's what I did the last time I felt like a groin pull.

In fact, the situation got so bad yesterday, we had to reinstate the draft for our Junior Lifeguards ROTC program! They'll probably think twice the next time they sign up for free college money.

At one point, the waves got so big that our own Homeless Chappy had to wear a snorkel and a wetsuit just to dig through the garbage cans on the beach. The good news is that it's the first time he's bathed since the tsunami.

So remember teens, it's best to stand well back from the ocean when the surf is this big. Because like a Jehova's Witness on your doorstep, you never know when a rogue wave may appear.

Until next time, this is Notch Johnson saying...Ride the big one!